Life...I Love You

My life is beautiful.
Everything is going according to plan and sure...
My life gets fucked up sometimes and I get in a slump but I ALWAYS come back stronger than I was before the storms come.
I'm in college at a UNIVERSITY again,
I'm bout to have whip action Monday,(THE DRIVER'S LICENSE PIC...don't judge me cheesin SUPER hard lol)
finances lookin great,
and I'm closer to my Lord than I've ever been.
I know I'm not without flaws and the great thing about it...
THE LORD DOESNT CARE!!!
I finally realize that HE doesn't care.
I don't have to try and emulate perfection when HE accepts me how I am!!
I ain't tryna turn this into nothing religious, but understand my position:
I'M SMILING.
Now...that may not seem like much but trust...I've been "SMILING" for months....
I havent SMILED though.I should be an Oscar awarded thespian for how I can act like my life is going great.
NOW though...I ain't gotta act.(Me and Sisterdukes WILDIN!)
My LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm lookin at life in a WHOLE new scope.
U ever looked up at the sky and correlated it to the fact that your potential in life is like that of the sky??: It doesnt matter where your potential BEGINS but (Like the sky) it can go as far as your imagination allows!
People have been telling me I have my "Light" back.
I can feel it.
My writing is back up to par,
I'm laughing and smilin and makin those around me do the same.
The ripple effect of my joy is...something I admire. :)

P.S.
Life...I love you.

This Mornin'...

#NP Brandy | Sittin' On Top of the World

Throwback tune huh?
Foo...life is interesting. Sometimes I question myself as a person.
On this journey to grow as a man I sometimes wonder if I'm changing for others or if I'm evolving for myself.
I miss bein' the person I was BEFORE college.
Loud, obnoxious, rude as hell, and would snap your fuckin' head off in an instant.
But
at the same time I know I had to change that because that's some high school shit.
I've now become that person that will keep his mouth closed in order to maintain a peaceful environment minus conflict.
In 2011...
FUCK THAT SHIT.
I've already started snappin heads off.
I don't give a fuck.
A nigga been quiet for wayyyyy too long.
People took away that holdin' back aspect of me.
Thank you though, it was a necessity :) #FlexShrug.
I need a restart button on life.
I figure life out to be a game. Extra lives and shit.
When you die in a game you have extra lives to play again,
you learn from your previous mistakes in that level,
and then you're able to conquer that level the next time around.
Problem with my life is that I'm stuck on this one level and keep battling this same boss...
I KEEP LOSING.
This boss is my mind.
They say YOU are your worst critic, enemy, etc. Too true.
If I'm switching from topic to topic excuse me.
Skyy Vodka makes your thoughts slur into one huge thought.

"Naw I havent been drinking this morning/
But last night that bottle was a puzzle/
The more I sipped/
the more I thought I could solve that muhfucka"

End Transmission

Once Upon A Black & Mild

The smell of Black & Milds have become a familiar fragrance to me. STRESSSSSSS!!!
I'm stressed out cause I can't...WRITE...SHIT.
My inspiration has been shot down.
My muse is nonexistent.
Depression & Reality are overpowering passion.
This is not a mind frame I need to get comfortable with and it's irritating the shit out of me. I'm starting to feel like "Is this music shit gon' pop off like I KNOW it's supposed to?"
I got complete faith in my dream, my passion, and my talent but damn.. I have no back up plan. So if this music doesn't work out...truth be told..I'm Fucked.
I don't want to do anything BUT music.
I don't SEE myself doing anything BUT music.
And I feel like I ain't SHIT when I'm NOT doing music. And that's just bein' real.
Music makes me comfortable.
It's an escape FROM my mind,
a gateway INTO my mind
and documentation of the craziness that IS my mind.
We're supposed to get the desires of our heart, right?
Well thats my desire. MUSIC.
THE FANS!!!
The late nights & early mornings in the studio
The tour bus
The crowds
The concerts over seas
The respect,
the flashing lights,
the traveling,
the comparisons of myself to legends,
the women,
the ups, the downs,
the life,
the "Oh he done got famous. He changed." from people that never knew me
the movies,
the fashion,
the magazine covers,
the huge unnecessary ass house,
the call that my moms gets from me when I hit platinum for the first time
the journey of success
the giving back to my community and making a better world
I JUST WANT
the LOVE, the MONEY, and the FAME damn it!!!

I CAN dream AND achieve....can't I?

(L)ive (M)usic Video (F)or The Week

This song...this artist. The chorus has always described how I feel about music and Jay-Z has always inspired me. Enjoy!

Just Lettin' Some Things Out

I don't think people get it.
I hate this shit sometimes.
Then again there's nothing to like about it.
I know it's not my fault but still
This shit gets unbearable sometimes.
Sometimes its easy to smile and laugh...cool
And sometimes I smile, laugh, wild out and act down retarded!!! LOL
But then
Other times it gets hard and then me being happy
Is me FAKING it.
I pray on it, but certain things you KNOW can't be changed
It's what you are, it's who you are, and you have to accept it.
Plain and simple
Livin' with Bipolar Disorder
Ain't something that's easy.
Believe me.

(L)ive (M)usic Video (F)or The Week